In the midst of nowhere, I feel alone.
Its seems that people busy on their own stuff.
I can hardly imagine what's the world thingking...
people move from the different places
people do what they want without limitations

How can I stand up of being me
How can I be me if nobody seems to care and to listen
How can I stand up, O Lord' to this world
where everything seems strange.

How will I stand up as a righteous one on this world I live in
How can my simple act can change someones heart.

I live today as if there is no more tomorrow
I live today your grace as it will last forever.

Help me to stand where I find myself helpless
Help me to know your act for me to live it.
Help me to be different in the way you are.

When I was a kid I remember that I did attend wedding ceremony as a flower girl. All I know that time is just to walk down the isle and carried the flower basket with you. It is like you are in a Flores de Mayo that people watching over you. With the smiles on your face and waving to people like you are a princess. It really makes me laugh when I remembered that time where I become a flower girl. I'm so excited that time to walk the isle and I have a big smile on my face. It is really a nice experience to wear a gown feeling like you are a princess in your own way. When I reached seventeen I started to become a bridesmaid. All I know is just they choose me because I need to bind the groom and the bride or lighted the candle to the wedding ceremony. If you are going to count all of the participation I have made as a bridesmaid it will be 3 times now and since tomorrow will be my cousins wedding I will count it on 4 times participation in wedding ceremony as a bridesmaid. I guess it will be an honor in part of me when someone will choose you as part of their wedding ceremony it will be an honor but wait!...why is it I am afraid of something else, because one of my friend told me that if most of the time you are bridesmaid you will never been a bride for your entire life. Haaaaaahhh!...it really makes me think. Is it true? Is this a superstitious belief!? When I heard it I asked my friend are you kiding!? "I guess that's not true" I told her. Without hesitation I asked my mother about this superstitious belief. She told me that "it is not true". I hope she is right!... I mean every woman dream to walk down the isle as a Bride. A precious dream that at some point in our life you experience to bow your promise in the presence of God with the one you really love.

I have been into many questions on how life would be meaningful. Searching for who am I and knowing my purpose in this complicated world. This day like an ordinary day I need to woke up and go to school. Well this is not my daily routine. Its so happen that one day I realize that I need to go back to school to continue my career. This day I was late for school. I am a commuter and as I rode a jeepney going to school there is a woman with a child that strikes my attention, at first you might not bother to look at the woman and her child all you have know is that they are just an ordinary passengers in that jeep. Well what strikes me then? The good thing about it, is the honesty of a woman revealing to the driver that she has no money for the fare. All I just remember when she said this" Manong, pwede po bang makikiangkas kami? wala na po kasi ako pera dahil naubos n sa hospital, dyan lang po kami sa sta.rosa. Salamat po!" then i realized why I am feeling this way, why it seems that my heart breaks to these woman and her child. I didn't have a courage to glimpsed at her. Maybe because I was afraid that she might caught me staring at her. I ignore on what she what said and I find my self taking a glimpsed to all the passengers of that jeep. Then as we traveled to our destination. You will only heard the cry of the child she was holding. Saying in her daughter " eto n lang wla ka na gatas" still the child was crying and I was glimpsed at them I saw that the woman tried to feed her child with only biscuits.
I really don't know why I felt this way being helpless. Something reminds me that I have the opportunity to help this woman and her child. But I didn't know how? Many of us are still ignoring the fact that they need us. Its remind me of how fortunate I am. Having my family, job, clothes, dress, money etc. but still I am not contented. I remember what they said people are not contented on what they had. Still searching for something. Life will always be this searching and searching until you get what you want. But did we try to think? just for a moment and ask ourselves.

do i need to say goodbye?
do i need to care for you?
do i need to ignore you?

you don't know how it feels every time you ignored me, pretending that i didn't exist.
you don't know how it feels when you are talking to someone, wishing I am the one you are talking.
you don't know how it feels every time you are looking at me and saying nothing.

i can't remember the time you will approach me just to say " how are you? "
i can't remember the day you will smile at me.
i can't remember the way you stare at me when you are talking to me.

how do i ignore you, if you are still near me.
how do i say goodbye, if i always hear you.
how will i forget you, if you are the one makes me feel this way.